Sooooo…Victoria Scheufler wants Caledonia North Supervisory Union board members to get out there and defend her honor against the dumpster-diving mutant subclass that’s plotting against her.

Well maybe she didn’t use those exact words in last Friday’s Caledonian-Record, but that was the vibe I got when I read how she asked the CNSU executive board to share her side of DaveCobbGate “at the dump or wherever you go and hear this stuff.” I wonder how the upstanding “Just Say NO To Sarcasm” school board in Lyndon felt about that dose of passive-aggressive behavior by their superintendent.  Did they turn red in the face, shake with anger, and stammer “You can ask all the questions you want…but that’s enough of the sarcasm!!!?”

Just wondering.

And I wonder if Victoria Scheufler is dissing the dump or is she dissing the people who go there?  It doesn’t really matter, because either way, it’s still just a heavy-handed swipe at all those who dare oppose her.  People are asking questions?  Just reach out and paint all dissent with a dump-colored brush.  Brilliant!

CITIZEN A: “See that guy over there? He wants to know why the principal at his kid’s school suddenly resigned.”

CITIZEN B:  “That guy? Don’t listen to him. He’s been to the dump!”

Seriously. This gal’s got a great future working for Karl Rove if she wants it.  It’s especially brilliant because ….and wait for it…..Lyndon doesn’t even have a dump!! Yet she was able to use this mythical place to cast a negative connotation onto anyone who complains about her.  It’s a classic election year strategy of vast-generalization warfare. And it’s based on complete fiction.

I am impressed.

Clearly, we fictional dump-goers are just not having the same kind of afternoon teas as those in the better backyards of East Burke.

But seriously, does the dump comment remind you of Leona Helmsley?  Leona Helmsley, the billionaire hotel magnate from New York City who famously observed that “….only the little people pay taxes.” Only here, the little people not only pay taxes, but apparently congregate at the imaginary dump, scavenging for imaginary table scraps and plotting against the queen.

Maybe Queen Victoria can see so much more than us because she sits so high atop the CNSU Tower, that grand and glorious tower made of stacked turtles.  Yep, she and King Yertle are superbly positioned to fight back against anyone who dares to rise higher.

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe WE are the problem. Maybe all this mess is not because of a power hungry “My Way or The Highway” dictatorship supported by just enough school board enablers to keep it propped up.  Maybe it’s the rest of us…the unwashed masses…the cake eaters of the world…maybe it’s all because we didn’t trust our leaders.

No. It’s not us. It’s them, dammit, and that quote about the dump proves it beyond a reasonable doubt.  Any public official who would characterize the citizens they serve with a dump metaphor is both arrogant and stupid.  And there’s only one way for the arrogant and stupid to stay in power, and that is to have all the power. Get rid of anyone who dares question your wisdom. Nudge them aside if you can.  Force them out if you have to.  And then, if anyone starts asking questions, just smear them all with…the dump.

You know.  My way or the highway.

Todd Wellington

VermontMornings.com